Anxiety. You are a beast that lies when you say, “I will never go away. I cannot be conquered.” You are so small compared to how strong of a fighter I am and how big my God is. But yet you make yourself seem so big, so powerful. You try to steal joy, you try to take away dreams, you interrupt plans, and you try to convince me of sickness. But I will say what you can’t do. You can’t get a hold of me. The inner me. The me that knows my God is for me, and He did not intend for me to live in fear. He did not intend for my body to shut down in the midst of my callings, and in the middle of celebrations. He, my defender in the battles you cause, is greater within me.
Anxiety. I have grown a strong hate for you, but at the same time, I’ve learned to thank you. You have shown me how powerful my brain is, you have shown me what I am capable of in the midst of the trials you bring to me.
You have made me face my brokenness, only so I can see how God can heal it. You have shown me that no matter how deep the roots you are attached to go, that there is nothing my God cannot restore. Anxiety, you are a battle. But I do not fear you, because no matter how many times you make yourself known, you cannot win.
Anxiety, your biggest lie is “You, Cam are the only one with this. You are all alone in dealing with me.” And right when you try to pull me in to believe you, I laugh with joy as you are crushed with the precious truth, that my God goes before me and he never leaves me.
Anxiety thank you for tearing me down, only so I could get built back up again. I forgive you, but I do not welcome you. You can invite yourself in but you cannot stay. The reach of my God is closer to me than you will ever be.
To my readers, viewers, followers and friends. You may be shocked to read these words above in between all pretty pictures posted on this blog. But that is my heart behind sharing this struggle I have. That you would know and be encouraged that behind these pictures, behind the perfect light, and behind my camera, this is what I face. We all have that “thing” or that “battle” in our lives we wish would go away. And in our wishing we feel we are alone. But guess what? I am here to tell you friend, you are not alone. And if takes me being vulnerable with pouring out these words that I have walked through in order show you that, than I will do so time and time again. This imperfection that I have had to dig deep to find beauty in is all a part of my journey. Whatever yours may look like, I hope you know that God is singing a lullaby in the midst of what may look like a war song. He, the giver of perfect peace will meet you right where you are and will carry you through. So here’s to me finally unveiling this struggle I have been hiding and fearful of sharing, in hopes that it may touch just one soul who needs it.